Have you ever felt frustrated that you’re not moving in the direction you would like? 

Have you ever said to yourself that you just need more motivation?  

Do you struggle to maintain or be consistent with positive behaviours?  

As a life coach a big part of my job is to help support change. This means helping my clients implement and sustain new behaviours that have a positive impact on their health and wellbeing.   

My goal is to create an environment where I support my client’s intrinsic motivation. This is motivation that comes from within, rather than from the outside.  

It’s normal to have a lapse here and there and struggle to stay on track at times. This is because human behaviour is complicated. We are constantly being pulled in different directions and are being influenced from our internal worlds and external environments.   

When you’re not 100% congruent with who you want to be and how you want to behave, it’s easy to creep into judgement of yourself. If you or anyone else holds your worth to be conditional on certain behaviour, it can lead to a downward slope of negative self-esteem and unhealthy behaviours.  

If how you feel about yourself is conditional on certain behaviours, you’re constantly working to keep your ego and sense of worth happy, which will likely result in self-critical perfectionism and be incredibly draining.  

This leads to unstable and unhealthy motivation long term.  

Treating yourself with acceptance, compassion and positivity results in feeling content and happy. 

Working on these 3 basic human needs will help support your positive behaviours:  

 

1.Autonomy  

We desire to have the freedom to make our own choices. Autonomy is about having the ability to make your own decisions that are congruent with your values, interests and goals.   

2.Competence  

We want to feel we have the skills to do the work that’s important to us. Competence is about feeling capable and effective with personally important tasks and activities.  

3. Connection  

We want to experience a sense of belonging. We want to feel a part of something and not feel like an outsider. We want to be in environments where we feel we can relate to others. Connection is about feeling an emotional bond with others, feeling understood and making a positive contribution to others.   

Think about the areas of your life you feel most motivated in and it is likely you’ll have a feeling of autonomy, competence and connection.    

 Some other parts of motivation include: 

• Finding and taking part in activities that you care about and enjoy.   

• Having the right level of challenge - too easy or too hard and you won’t feel motivated.  

• Motivation increases the more you do something. Rather than waiting for motivation to arise, act first and you’ll often find that motivation will increase.  

• Spend time reflecting on your strengths, values and competency.   

• Have people around you who recognise your strengths, value and competency.  

• Sometimes a lack of motivation comes from losing sight of your why and purpose. If you can see the value and worth of a behaviour, then you are more likely to do it.  

• A lack of motivation can also come from feeling run down, tired and overwhelmed. Take breaks to allow yourself to recharge.  

• Thinking big picture can really help keep you motivated. This is because you may have to wait a long time before seeing the benefits of your work and effort.  

• Exercise, quality sleep and nutritious food will help boost and maintain good energy levels and support your motivation. 

• Where possible eliminate tasks or people who drain you.  

• Understand your barriers to implementing and sustaining new behaviour. This is as equally important as understanding the behaviours themselves.  

  

Understanding yourself  

While we are driven from basic human needs, I think it’s important to understand what other things might motivate you. 

For example, you may be motivated by rewards or validation from others. This is not bad, but issues arise when this external motivation becomes your sole purpose. You may struggle to sustain good behaviour without these external rewards or find that once you do receive them, you’re left craving for the next hit of motivation. This becomes a never-ending hedonic treadmill where satisfaction and fulfilment become ever more elusive.  

Identity  

How you see yourself will dictate your behaviour. The story you tell yourself about the type of person you are, will affect every area of your life. For example, if you see yourself as a kind person then you’re more likely to be kind, or if you see yourself as someone who is fit and healthy then you’re more likely to implement and stay on track with your health behaviours.  

By focusing on the 3 key components to motivation, you will find it easier to implement and sustain new behaviours and will also see a positive impact on your overall health and wellbeing.